Данная статья пока является переводом для наших зарубежных коллег
"… No, we are bullshit without it. Where are their manners? We have discovered a unique phenomenon."
"Lol, the North American branch is unlikely to give us the SCP-173."
"Remind me, where did we get the document on SCP-173 at all?"
"One guy brought it from the warehouse."
"To find out."
"To find out what?"
"Where did he get a document on SCP-173."
"It came from Site 19, it was sent with a second object like that."
"Really? Why don't they mention the document's origins? I've been racking my brains for a long time because of them, thinking about where did we get a document on the sculpture."
"This is a statue."
"It's all the same. It was so good back then: there were containment cells, there were observation rooms, and there were all the boxes with the necessary documents. Who even had the idea to move all the boxes to the warehouse?"
"It's not about security, it's about convenience."
"Instead of saying it to my face, say it to the guys from the Security Department."
"My plan exactly. Give me a clean sheet of paper, I will write a report about the experiment."
"But it's supposed to be written during the experiment, not afterwards!"
"I know, but the higher-ups requires a copy."
"But what do we have copier for?"
"It doesn't work."
(pulls out an A4 sheet)- "A pen"?
"Are you a moron? I’m doing to type it! You don't use a pen on keyboards"
"But it doesn't work."
"What does not work?"
"What do I need a copier for, if it's a printer I'm gonna need? (puts paper into the printer)."
"It's both a printer and a copier."
"Oh, hell… Why didn't you tell me this is an all-in-one device? Absolutely everything is broken there."
"Give it here, I'll have to write it by my hand."
"So, the question: what was the experiment? I remember that you were doing something, but don't know the process."
"Sit down, my friend, this information is very important."
"Well, well, well, I'm sitting right here."
"Do you feel how important the information I'm going to tell you about is?"
"Yes, I feel."
"Feel the adrenaline in your veins?"
"Something like that."
"Feel the drumbeat in your ears?"
"Ivanovich, quit it, start talking!"
"I found out … where are the anomalous objects came from."
"From parallel universes?"
"How do you know?"
"The Space-time Studies Department has known it for a very long time."
"But… I have empirical evidence."
"Well, some of our objects are quite the proof, even without any experiments"
(brooding) - "Why did you say that? Killed the mood in an instant."
"Okay, I'll give you a chance to tell about experiment."
"In short, it all began…"
"…from an object found in America?"
"Do not interrupt! Anyway, the object is very similar to SCP-173 in its anomalous properties. There was a note, which was written in Russian. Their translators were unable to handle it."
"Wait, American translators couldn't read Russian?"
"It was all swearwords and colloquialisms. Do you think they know all the filty and obscene language low-lifes use?"
"They sent the object to us, because it was too distinctly … Russian. I wanted to find out what will happen if it starts breaking non-human necks."
"Is it possible? I believe SCP-173 is only breaking human necks."
"That's the gist of it! Look, SCP-173 breaks a neck if you break eye contact with it. Right? So, we don't need an actual human, just his or her eyes. We got the engineers to make some rubber heads and put real eyes into them."
"Where did you get the eyes?"
"That's where D-class come in. We conducted an experiment - we installed a head in the containment chamber. The object did not move. We turned the head to avoid direct eye contact - the object started turning the rubber head to and fro until it got bored."
"I would be bored too, and what's your conclusion?"
"Do not interrupt. What happens when a neck is wrung?"
"Of course, but there's also a crunch. It will be unnatural, if a neck breaks without a crunch. So, we made the heads emit a crunching sound when being turned. In this case, the object was turning the head making crunching sounds, but with different intervals"
"It transmits a messages using these crunches!"
"What did it say?"
"This is… confidential. Let me just say that this is the way to communicate with other beings in the universe it came from."
"Do they snap each others' necks?"
"They twist each others' heads."
"A horrible sight. Is that all?"
"Hell yeah! Damn, this pen does not work."
"Because it's a blunt. And by the way, mine is finished too, should I roll another one?"
"You better find me a pen, I need to duplicate the report!"
"What do we have a copier for?"
"But it's broken, isn't it?"
"There's Sveta copying something on it."